Drugs.

[Stewards enquiry]

I think my wife is dealing in drugs.
Last night the telephone rang and when I answered it a male voice said "Has that dope gone yet?" and when I said "hello" whoever it was hung up.

[vegyjones]

I think my wife is having an affair...

when I woke up she was humping my next door neighbour on the other side of our bed! :doh

[MarcusMel]

I got slaped by my wife when she asked me what a female sheep was! :doh

[Win2Win]

I woke up humping the neighbours wife this morning :doh