Stewards enquiry
22nd April 2005, 19:59
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall."
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to
the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
off."
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland."
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please."
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room."
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
window to write the number on."
Computer Capers
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Now do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
British Rail
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free."
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through
to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
The Bank
Caller: "I would like to borrow £5,000 please."
Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?"
Caller: "Three years, please."
Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £150 per month for 36 months. Is that OK?"
Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall."
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to
the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
off."
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland."
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please."
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room."
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
window to write the number on."
Computer Capers
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Now do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
British Rail
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free."
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through
to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
The Bank
Caller: "I would like to borrow £5,000 please."
Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?"
Caller: "Three years, please."
Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £150 per month for 36 months. Is that OK?"
Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"