plater
19th October 2005, 12:23
Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night,
I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I :pss myself laughing.
My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients,
it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.
Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog'
She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.
Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much,
it scared the s**t out of me.
So today I decided I'm never reading again.
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?'
Little girl replies "Big :icon_tong's and vodka".
Boss has to lay off Ann or jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's
'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....
'You better jack off, I've got a headache'
Larry la prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93.
The worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started.
Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank,
my hands were all a quiver,
I slowly undid her suspender belt
and her leg fell in the river.
Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital
to have a dangerous mole removed from his penis......
he won't be :sex1 one of those again!
It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60.
Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is!
An Asian died and went to heaven, at the gates he saw St. Peter.
He said to St. Peter 'I'm here for Jesus'
St. Peter turned around and shouted 'Taxi for Jesus'.
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....
They say it's only for the Christmas period.
A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy.
Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the iceberg!
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite,
the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?'
The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the :butthead: '!
I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I :pss myself laughing.
My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients,
it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.
Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog'
She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.
Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much,
it scared the s**t out of me.
So today I decided I'm never reading again.
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?'
Little girl replies "Big :icon_tong's and vodka".
Boss has to lay off Ann or jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's
'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....
'You better jack off, I've got a headache'
Larry la prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93.
The worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started.
Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank,
my hands were all a quiver,
I slowly undid her suspender belt
and her leg fell in the river.
Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital
to have a dangerous mole removed from his penis......
he won't be :sex1 one of those again!
It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60.
Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is!
An Asian died and went to heaven, at the gates he saw St. Peter.
He said to St. Peter 'I'm here for Jesus'
St. Peter turned around and shouted 'Taxi for Jesus'.
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....
They say it's only for the Christmas period.
A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy.
Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the iceberg!
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite,
the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?'
The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the :butthead: '!