bigcumba
13th April 2006, 20:09
>Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !>
>How many men does it take to open a beer?>None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will >probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows>them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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>Why do men fart more than women?>Because women can't shut up long enough to>build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at >the front door, who do you let in first?>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?>A woman who won't do what she's told.
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>I married a Miss Right.>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes>a woman's sex drive by 90%.>It's called a Wedding Cake.
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>Why do men die before their wives?>They want to.
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>Women will never be equal to men until they can>walk down the street with a bald head and a beer>gut, and still think they are sexy.
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>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.>Then God created Man and rested.>Then God created Woman.>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>How many men does it take to open a beer?>None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will >probably never be able to support you.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------->
Why do women have smaller feet than men?>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows>them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>------------------------------------------------------------------->
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
>------------------------------------------------------------------->
How do you fix a woman's watch?>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men fart more than women?>Because women can't shut up long enough to>build up the required pressure.
>------------------------------------------------------------------->
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at >the front door, who do you let in first?>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?>A woman who won't do what she's told.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>I married a Miss Right.>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes>a woman's sex drive by 90%.>It's called a Wedding Cake.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men die before their wives?>They want to.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Women will never be equal to men until they can>walk down the street with a bald head and a beer>gut, and still think they are sexy.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.>Then God created Man and rested.>Then God created Woman.>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.