Silly Jokes

[jonahjones]

Two monkeys get in the bath.

One says hoo-hoo-hee-hee-haa-haa.

The other one says OK put some more cold in then. :)

[Fadetoblack]

This is now to be called the silly jokes thread....

Two buckets of vomit were walking down the road when one starts crying...

"What's up?"

Pointing down an alley..."I was brought up down there"

[jonahjones]

If you say so FTB!...

What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach have for lunch?

An hour the same as everyone else.

[Fadetoblack]

Two Televsion aerials got married.

The wedding was crap but the reception was great.

[Fadetoblack]

Did you hear about the vegetable that died?

There was a really big turnup at the funeral!

[mathare]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

[Fadetoblack]

man walks into a doctors office with a carrot in each ear and baby sweetcorn up each nostril.

he asks the doctor what's wrong with him to which the doctor replies 'you're not eating properly'.

[jonahjones]

Two blokes in a pub.

One says to the other "you've got a steering wheel between your legs".

The other says "I know, what am I gonna do its driving me nuts". :(

[chancer]

whats grey and comes in litres?

An Elephant

[Fadetoblack]

Jesus said to Moses " Come forth and you shall inherit the world"

He came Fifth and won a toaster.

[chancer]

how many orgasms should a woman have in a good sexual encounter?

WHO CARES?

[Fadetoblack]

Jonah.,...change the name of the thread....come on man....silly jokes....

[jonahjones]

Jonah.,...change the name of the thread....come on man....silly jokes....

Didn't even know I could do that FTB!!

[Fadetoblack]

Now we're rolling :wink

[jonahjones]

In the early nineties a church near to Goodison Park had a banner outside displaying the message "JESUS SAVES".

Some "wag" had put underneath "BUT COTTEE NETS THE REBOUND!"

[mathare]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

[chancer]

why was jesus not born in liverpool

there was little chance of finding 3 wise men and no hope of finding a virgin

[MarcusMel]

A termite walks into a pub and asks

"is the bar-tender here?"

[chancer]

a man walks into a bar and says

"ouch"

[MattR]

A white horse walks into a bar

The barman says to the horse, "We've got a drink named after you"

To which the horse replies, "What, Eric?"

[jonahjones]

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of tarmac under his arm and asks for two pints of lager.

"Two pints of lager?" replied the bartender.

Yes, one for me and one for the road.

[Yoda]

Whats yellow and smell like green paint?

Yellow paint

[Yoda]

what do you call a japanese car thief??
























Tommy Tukamota

[Yoda]

If you could be ANY animal in the middle of the winter at the North pole what would you like to be?


























A little Otter! ;)

[Yoda]

ALL TIME FAVOURITE!

Whats Green and smells of Pork?























Kermits finger

[Yoda]

How do you get to Wales in a mini?



















One in the front, one in the back.

[Yoda]

I got barred from B&Q the other day, Walking around minding my own business near the wood flooring and a member of staff asked me if I wanted decking.......So I hit him

[Fadetoblack]

........................................................................................................

[Yoda]

Two mates in a bar.

"You been pumping Iron?"

"Yeah"

"Funny name for a dog that"

[mathare]

Two mates meet up the day after a heavy drinking session

"I'm so ashamed, " says the first guy. "I went home last night and blew chunks"

"So you threw up, there's nowt wrong with that" says his mate

"No, you don't understand. Chunks is the name of my dog"