Taxi driver.

[Stewards enquiry]

The Taxi Driver

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a
question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver
screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus,
drove up over the kerb, and stopped just inches from
a large plate-glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab,
and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but
you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger, apologised to the driver,
and said he didn't realise a mere tap on the shoulder
could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault.
Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a
hearse for the last 23 years.

[honcho]

What's the best way to get a one armed man out of a tree?
Wave at him!