chain e-mails

[wb]

Hello, my name is Glenn and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion fu**ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe
that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Wagga Wagga with a
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone
to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?


"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get
laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started
by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower.

Fu*k 'em. If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something
mildly amusing.

I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this
poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't fu**ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana
with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27
years
and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me 15 quid

[piggy]

a decent chain letter
1st name
2nd name
3rd name
4th name
5th name

Do not break the chain something terrible could happen to you,
This is a decent chain letter as opposed to normal chain letters/pyramid
schemes, this one costs nothing, and you can only win.
Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates.

INSTRUCTIONS.
Anaesthetize your wife or girlfriend, put her in a large carton,(don't
forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the
top of your list, Then cross that name off and add your name to the bottom of the list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and
you will receive 823,542 women through the post.

Statistically, among those women, will be at least:
0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphos
3,234 Good-looking nymphos
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women.

In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited,
and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of
all,your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come
back to you.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.

One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his
friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he
sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial
expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel
he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to
live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter)

While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 3rd place above me
has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from
exhaustion.

Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL. This is a unique opportunity to achieve a
totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy
conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No
obligations,no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like
marriage or engagement. Do not hesitate........send this letter today to
9 of your best friends.
PS. - Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum
cleaner;
one of the other women that arrives will know how to use it.
PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can
prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake