The internet is bad

[Merlin]

Sorry Vegy but that one is not funny to me.

OK MM - try this one


The Limits of Propositional Calculus
.............................................
All men are mortal.
Socrates is a man.
Therefore, Socrates is mortal.

[sparkyminer]

OK MM - try this one


The Limits of Propositional Calculus
.............................................
All men are mortal.
Socrates is a man.
Therefore, Socrates is mortal.

Mr Spock's sides would be splitting.:D

[Merlin]

[MarcusMel]

Nope thats just simple.

Two men(Irish?(Kerrymen)) were woking on a fence
hammering nails to hold the wood in place.
However one man Shamus? was picking up nails
shaking his head in disgust and throwing the nails away.
The other Patirck? was carefully making a small pile of nails while
using others on the fence. Shamus turns to Patrick and says:-
"Its amazing how many of these nails are the wrong way round"








To which Patrick replies










"Oh no Shamus those nails are for the other side"

[MarcusMel]

Brillient and stupid at the same time - wonderful.

[Merlin]

OOOOHHHHHH - MM....

Youve hurt the Irish lads feelings.........you naughty boy

[MarcusMel]

Have I? Merlin.

I can't remember who Kerrymen use for the English equivalent of Irish. I don't think it works as a Blonde Joke.

[Fadetoblack]

Yeah, we say Kerrymen too...not sure if there's anyone from Kerry on here...

[chancer]

At least the kid learned one vital lesson- Trust no one! :wink

[chancer]

Here's one for MM

An Irish man went for a very delicate brain operation. The surgeon explained the procedure carefully.. "we will be removing part of your brain and there will be possible side effects. If we remove 25% you are likely to end up with a Welsh accent and if we remove up to 50% it will be a Scottish accent. This is unavoidable"

The poor Irishman was upset but agreed to undergo the op. As he lay in bed afterwards, the doctor came in. "unfortunately we had to to remove 99% of the brain,but you should recover soon" The patient looked up pitifully and asked..


"Cor blimey mate"

Made me laugh when i heard it anyhow

[vegyjones]

I don't find it at al funny! :wink

[silax]

my favourite joke of all time you'll like this one marcus i'm sure.
2 lions walking down the street one says to the other "i wonder where all the people are ?"
i like to think i've got a very broad sharp sence of humour but i don't find crude comics funny such as chubby brown why is that?

[MarcusMel]

When I first heard that joke silax it was

"Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says 'I thought you said it was busy here on Saturday'"

I was not bright enough to understand the joke when first told to me - mostly because animals often talk to each other or humans in stories and have come to accept that as a norm in a joke or story. So now I am supposed to switch point of view and see it as normal for people to be frightened of Lions when they are talking to each other

[vegyjones]

I was not bright enough to understand the joke when first told to me - mostly because animals often talk to each other or humans in stories and have come to accept that as a norm in a joke or story. So now I am supposed to switch point of view and see it as normal for people to be frightened of Lions when they are talking to each other

Marcus - You are just weird! :D

[silax]

When I first heard that joke silax it was

"Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says 'I thought you said it was busy here on Saturday'"

I was not bright enough to understand the joke when first told to me - mostly because animals often talk to each other or humans in stories and have come to accept that as a norm in a joke or story. So now I am supposed to switch point of view and see it as normal for people to be frightened of Lions when they are talking to each other

no marcus the point of the joke is that if there were 2 lions walking down the road there everybody would have run away.

[Fadetoblack]

Marcus, are you releasing a new version of yourself soon...something with a translator plug in perhaps??? :wink

[MarcusMel]

Yes - Vegy I know I am weird - I have been bullied enough as a child to know that.

Silax saying two lions are speaking to one another disassociates the situation from normal reality for me. Also I suppose I just don't imagine people being frightened of Lions for some reason. Another point is that I don't find the idea of people being scared and running away from Lions funny. Sorry thats just me. Now you can all go ahead and have 'fun' at my weirdness.

[MarcusMel]

Fade - I have no idea what your problem is with the things I say and that does not matter very much as it is not my problem.

[Fadetoblack]

MM - We're all a little weird in some way. It makes you a helluva lot more interesting I can tell you that.

And I don't have any problems with the things you say Marcus, I just don't always understand them...just like most people don't understand some of the things I say.

[Merlin]

"Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says

¨have you had breakfast yet ¨?

The other replied

¨no¨

¨ lets run into MacDonald’s and frighten some of the people¨

The other replies

¨lets walk in there and frighten all of them¨

[silax]

"Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says

¨have you had breakfast yet ¨?

The other replied

¨no¨

¨ lets run into MacDonald’s and frighten some of the people¨

The other replies

¨lets walk in there and frighten all of them¨

brilliant merlin i've now got part 2 of my favourite joke

[Merlin]

Glad u liked it Sted

[Vic]

The thing on the screen is funny, I did a very similar thing to my girlfriend and after the initial scream we both fell about laughing.
To set up a young kid like that might have seems funny in the first instance to that head, but surely when any child, never mind your own child, clings to you like that seeking assurance then you give them what they need - not ridicule.

Like most people I do find something to laugh at in sudden misfortune of the you've been framed variety - but the instinct to laugh can very quickly turn to compassion when it becomes obvious that there is real distress and not just initial shock.

[mathare]

but surely when any child, never mind your own child, clings to you like that seeking assurance then you give them what they need

A slap?

[Onlyforfun]

Is it? - Prove it.

I have stopped finding a lot of 'jokes' funny.

I do like jokes with a bit of logic in them.

-------
However http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/ I am ashamed that I do find this funny.

Marcus

I can't "prove it" but can give you some very convincing anecdotal evidence. Recently my little one has started peeing herself laughing at the slightest misfotune suffered by other people, an old lady falls over at the shops and off she goes (while her concerned father rushes to help so its not emulation), her Mum bangs her leg on a table oh what fun etc etc etc.

Talking to other parents they all say the same. The thought came to mind as a result of Fades thread with the funny clips and your, dare I say, carmudgeonly response. Not to mention spending 2 days with my father in law reminded me of you!

If you like thingsmygirlfriendandI.... try his books, currently reading "Love and Other Near Death Experiences", but having trouble finding the time, cos in bed I wake the wife up laughing and on the train people are wary of a grinning, chortling commuter, especially on a Monday.

[MarcusMel]

OFF - Have you read "Mr Comitment" By Mike Gayle? - I found his books to be very funny!