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piggy
20th July 2004, 11:32
If true this is possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was apparently printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the workers compensation board.

Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure........

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a Barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report from that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my suprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my prescence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the Barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunatley by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid decent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, Broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks, and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.


Kind regards,

Mike Pashby.
Thanks for your assistance.

silax
20th July 2004, 14:27
very good

MattR
20th July 2004, 14:36
:D Excellent

sparkyminer
20th July 2004, 15:44
I've read this before Piggy, on the Darwin website and I think it gets a special Commendation. I laugh every time I read it.

John
20th July 2004, 15:55
No pain no gain, as they say. :)

MarcusMel
20th July 2004, 17:12
Hoffman-

Lecture to Oxford Students some considerable time ago - Got it on a record LP!! somewhere and end up in tears of laughter every time I hear it.

piggy
20th July 2004, 18:03
I've read this before Piggy, on the Darwin website and I think it gets a special Commendation. I laugh every time I read it.

i pop into the darwin website quite often you can normally find a couple of good stories there.

Laf
20th July 2004, 18:11
Classic!

bigcumba
20th July 2004, 19:53
That is brilliant!