Beer up 4p a pint
Wine 14p a bottle
Spirits 55p a bottle
Cider 3p a litre
All from Sunday (so get really hammered this weekend - it might be your last chance!).
Cigs up 11p a packet
Pensioners get an extra £50 a year (£100 for over 80s) - they should use it for fuel but they might just be reckless and blow it on half a bitter down the local.
Schools to get £200 million to make exams easier (how else will
EVERY school become an improving one by 2011??).