Cookie Policy: This web site uses cookies. By using this site you agree to our cookie policy.
Disclaimer: By posting on this web site it is accepted that you have agreed to the T&C. This is an information forum, and it is just that information, all views are of the individual poster and not that of the site owner. Please DO NOT publish copyrighted material without the owners permission. If you copy news or articles include a link back to the original site. Threads/Posts may be deleted on request. No other links without permission.
BEFORE POSTING A QUESTION: Your question has probably been asked before, so please use the
SEARCH FUNCTION, as we grow tired of answering the same question again and again.
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: piggy's silly thread

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    north yorkshire
    Posts
    16,022
    Rep Power
    125

    piggy's silly thread

    please add your own but they must be silly.

    My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.
    I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"

    My dad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
    I guessed that makes him a seasoned veteran.

    I have decided to write all my jokes in capitals from now on.
    This one was written in London.

    The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.
    She hit the roof.

    For my birthday my mate dug a hole in my garden and filled it with water.
    It's not want I wanted, but he meant well.

    One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey.
    ICU baby, shaking that ass.

    I had this great racing snail.
    I took his shell off to reduce weight, but now he's just sluggish

    Kieth said we would have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

    I said, "it's fewer arguments".

    I have an impressive bank of knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I've lost the combination to this bank.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    north yorkshire
    Posts
    16,022
    Rep Power
    125
    I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents. We had a lovely evening and, after she'd gone, my dad leaned over and said, "Son, I think this one's a keeper."
    "Awww dad, what makes you say that?"
    "She smells of elephant dung."

    Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel.
    I won.

    As I walked through the front door, I could see that trouble was brewing.
    My mother in law was making herself a cup of tea.

    Apparently the collective noun for three dyslexics is a riot.

    I've been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days.
    It's on its last legs now.

    Have you noticed that the temptation to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is never more than a whim away.

    Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

    To prepare me for work in later life, at school I was sent on work experience at a department store for two weeks.
    The scouse lad in our class got a fortnight at home watching TV.

    Police today reported that a suspicious package taken from an address in Liverpool contained a distressing item.
    It was a job offer.

    I have an impressive bank of knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I've lost the combination to this bank.


  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Londinium
    Posts
    26,188
    Rep Power
    171
    What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce?

    Chicken ceaser salad


    -

    How do Mexicans keep warm

    They use chicken for heaters

    -

    My friend found out he's gay and dyslexic

    He's still in Daniel

    The Vegster!


    Winner of Ada's Eurovision Game 2014


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Somersetshire
    Posts
    4,275
    Rep Power
    52
    Now this is really silly?

    For those interested in considering all possibilities...

    If you aren't ready, to consider what many will find hard to believe, just delete.

    If you haven't seen this video from 2010, it may be practical to watch it before reading about Keshe technology, since it will provide evidence that our nuclear weapons have been disabled by UFOs.


    Disclosure Conference, National Press Club, 27 September 2010
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jUU4Z8QdHI
    87 min. video

    Witness testimony from more than 120 former or retired military personnel points to an ongoing and alarming intervention by unidentified aerial objects at nuclear weapons sites.



    Disclosure: The New Sheriff
    Veterans Today
    http://www.veteranstoday.com/2016/04...e-new-sheriff/

    Go to link for entire article and videos.

    Editor’s Note:... we have been watching Mr. Keshe for some time as observers and where they eventually evolved into more hands on participation.... The amazing thing about Mr. Keshe is that he has already given the technology away (or most of it), so that others may carry on with the application work.

    His thinking was that if he was going to give it to the world that the world should carry the ball on the big job of developing it to its full and beneficial potential. His desire to entice countries to shift their huge spending on weapons, with one of the main justifications being to control energy resources and markers, into using his technology to benefit all mankind.

    The elitists do not find this attractive at all, a threat to their having all the rest of us divided up among their various plantations, to farm us, literally. Everyone is in this fight now as to who will win, whether they want to be or not. We will keep you posted… Jim W. Dean ]

    ____________

    Several years ago, one thing became clear — that if Keshe technology was real, the world would change, and hydrocarbons would be a thing of the past as fuel, and that our world economy, an energy slave economy, was dead. It goes further.

    Governments, the US, Israel and Britain, have been contacted about “sharing” technology that would, if Keshe is right, make the planes, missiles and even the billion dollar cradle to grave surveillance nightmare useless.

    Now we can share what we do know, the basis for Keshe theory, for the Keshe machines, for Keshe’s irritating language of “magravs” and “plasma” is very real. His “crap” actually makes electricity “out of thin air” just like he said and, if that is true, and it is, then the whole thing is going to burn to the ground, the whole sick mess.

    As of today, we can categorically state that Keshe tech is very real, that physics we are taught in school, physics the US publicly espouses as valid, is not. We had known that several major aerospace companies were involved in projects, not only outside conventional science but much further, including time travel, thought inducement and deep space exploration, all using capabilities beyond conventional reality.

    We now know that though it all may not be true, much of it is now “probably” true and some of the “impossible” is certainly true. We begin:

    Iranian nuclear physicist and peace activist, Mehran Keshe, has officially announced that it was his technology that brought down an American RQ170 Sentinel drone over Iran and disabled the AEGIS destroyer, the USS Donald Cook, in the Black Sea.

    The US has given no plausible explanation for the downing of the RQ 170:

    We have, during the past few weeks, been able to verify that Keshe energy units do actually work. We had test results from other sources, but we did our own....

    …Keshe had worked in Iran with a massive budget on projects unrelated to anything arms inspectors have looked at. Keshe doesn’t do missiles or bombs.

    We also know that China has taken a strong interest in Keshe. Our concern is how China is volunteering to throw endless funding to move Keshe medical and “other” tech from the “imaginary physics” stage to operation. Either we all trust China, something I am not totally averse to doing, or begin playing with governments we long ago discovered can’t be trusted. There is no easy way out of this.

    ... I will turn this over to Ian Greenhalgh:

    We suspect that the Keshe technology is the result of reverse-engineering Alien hardware; we further suspect that the Iranians found this hardware during archaeological exploration and it is millenia old.

    Sharing this technology with Russia may have been a case of Iran lacking the resources to reverse-engineer whatever they found and the Russians are the acknowledged experts at reverse-engineering. Sources indicate that Gordon Duff had been briefed on ancient “technology dumps” in both Iran and Ukraine but he is unwilling to discuss this.

    ____________

    A little over two years ago, Preston James wrote an article that seems almost prescient in light of recent intelligence:

    “Unsubstantiated rumors have been seeping out of deep contacts inside Russian Space Command the last few weeks that, not only does the new Putin’s Russia have a well developed Secret Space war Program, but that this Program provides substantial ultra-high-tech back-engineered offensive and defensive weaponry.

    And that such advanced weaponry can and will be deployed if Israel is able to once again deploy their hijacked American War Machine to start another Proxy War, this time in the Ukraine against Putin’s New Russia.”

    This advanced weaponry appears to have been deployed against the USS Sitting Duck in the Black Sea, an event that sent very real shivers down the spines of American and Israeli military and political leaders (if they possess spines, that is). Preston goes on to ask:

    “Do Russians now have access to Space War Weapons based on back-engineered Alien ET technology gained through a new treaty negotiated between Putin and a certain group of Alien ETs who are enemies of the group controlling the World Zionists (WZs) and the International Zionist Crime Syndicate (IZCS)?”

    The answer to this appears to be a definite ‘maybe’; it would certainly explain why Russia has stood firm against the Zionists and the criminal operations in Ukraine and Syria, despite wide-ranging sanctions that, despite denials, have undoubtedly damaged their economy and the ruble and an ever-growing belligerence on the part of certain figures in NATO such as Gen. Breedlove.

    In short, maybe Putin is standing up to the criminals because someone does have his back. Preston also made a good guess at what some of the offensive weapons that have resulted from back-engineering might be:

    The actual state of back-engineered Alien ET technology for Russian weapons systems is not known by American Intel at this time. But estimates are constructed using advanced algorithms on advanced computers to make estimates. And the latest version of the Russian Sunburn Missile System is a good example of an advanced weapons system that can be used to project what could be considered a fairly good estimate of the current state of Russian Secret Space war weaponry that has been deployed.

    Some military technology experts believe that the Sunburn is based on Alien ET back-engineered technology. Why would they think this? Because the latest versions of the Sunburn are believed to have hiving capability and the ability to travel at speeds up to 7,000 to 9,000 miles per hour. That is a lot more than the officially released figures of Mach 2.1.

    Hiving is the ability of these missiles when launched in mass to remain in constant communication with one another on special scrambled frequencies which constantly change.

    If one or more Sunburn missile is shot down or interfered with, the rest adjust in response to the threat, re-target, and resort to random defensive maneuvers to make sure every target is still covered and attacked by priority of importance. Some of these maneuvers are so gravity-defying, it is suspected that anti-gravity technology has been utilized in the latest model of the Sunburn missiles. It is also suspected that new anti-matter light and time warping technologies are used to provide advanced “cloaking” for these Sunburns.

    If these rumors are even close to accurate it means that any USN ships within range of these Sunburns (which may be substantially greater than the claimed 1200 miles), could be sunk within mere minutes. Some experts believe that the USAF (or the USN) has nothing that can adequately respond to the Sunburn, and even the Rail guns and high-powered particle beams which have been secretly deployed on some carriers and destroyers and kept under wraps until needed, or on special Space war orbital platforms, cannot respond fast or accurately enough to stop all of a hive of Sunburns that are launched.

    “Now here is the grim truth. No matter how good American Intel has been about the Russian’s Secret Space War Program and the level of advanced back-engineered Alien ET technology, which now has been deployed, it is limited. And it is unlikely that the full story has been gained by American Intel, due to the various levels of secrecy and “need to know” installed around the Russian’s secret Space War Program.

    Of course this kind of layered secrecy has been installed around America’s Secret Space War Program. America’s secret Space War program is unfortunately now run by foreign offshore-controlled, private defense Contractors, most of whom are deeply infiltrated by Israeli Intel, some of whom are actually deep cover spies who report directly to Russian Intel, unbeknownst to the Israelis who are cocky and getting quite careless lately.”
    _________

    Part Two

    Hi, this is Gordon back again. ...I have friends in Syria, Iraq and elsewhere without electricity half the time, often without water, and we now know we can produce electricity not quite out of nothing but genuinely free energy.

    What is unique about Keshe’s program is its direction. When he talks about peace, he means it. You know, what has irritated so many about Iran and China is their unwillingness to, despite their burgeoning military spending, threaten neighbors or build offensive capabilities. Yes, Iran has missiles but Israel and Saudi Arabia, not the best neighbors for anyone, have nuclear weapons and a reputation for bad behavior.

    If Keshe tech can take down an RQ170, what would it do with an F18 or even an F35 as Keshe reminds us in Video 2?

    The key is going to be, based on the assumption that we are dealing with something real, how we can make this something more than a military game or, worse still and a scenario we are prepared to deal with as best possible, how long do we wait until defense contracting firms and the secret society types move from “trolling” to poisoning or let’s say shooting at Keshe and his wife Carolyn while they are in their car. No, wait…that’s already been done.

    I am not “at home” around Keshe people but what are “Keshe people?” There is an article out there accusing me and the CIA (funny?) of running the upcoming Keshe “event” later this month. I did, however, review applicants to attend, a list that was carefully screened based on the requirement of the hosting country, one that has very strong policies on things like terrorism and crime.

    I found lots of engineers, world experts on nanotechnology, more than a couple, but curiously, oil and chemical company execs who seem to really want to be there.

    What this can be, and maybe what it is, above all things is a way for people to find each other and, without government handouts and permission from the Wizard of Oz, take control of their lives, their future and their way of life. I don’t see room for what we have learned to recognize as “government” in this scenario. I will cry when the last one is shut down.

    PS: GS can now be followed on Twitter as @themastarata


  5. #5

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    herefordshire
    Posts
    5,712
    Rep Power
    67
    Took the words right out of my mouth! Funny thing is I agree with you. (I think)



  6. #6

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Somersetshire
    Posts
    4,275
    Rep Power
    52
    Quote Originally Posted by tovarich View Post
    Took the words right out of my mouth! Funny thing is I agree with you. (I think)
    H'mm, I now think the only 'silly' bit was approaching topic with alien [although, originally......?] stuff & that this Keshe geezer is onto something



    Once he started going on about magnets, gravity & energy it reminded me of something:

    http://www.ancient-wisdom.com/francecarnac.htm

    I googled 'ancient energy power carnac' & there's a wealth

    Were the Carnac Stones erected as an ancient astronomical ...
    https://www.reddit.com/.../AncientAl...nac_stones_ere...
    26 Jan 2016 - Are we only just now rediscovering Ancient Technologies like Electricity & Magnetism? Could advanced coastal civilizations have been wiped ...
    The Stones Of Carnac – A Powerful Healing Army
    bodymindspiritjourneys.com › Home › sacred places
    16 Oct 2013 - Many modern visitors have felt the power of this ancient, sacred landscape to move, ... festivity, and the healing energies of sites like Carnac.
    Carnac: The Energy Engine | The Hedge Druid
    http://www.hedgedruid.com/2010/09/ca...energy-engine/
    8 Sep 2010 - I had the temerity to dowse the idea that Carnac was an energy generator. ... because clearly it most accurately refers to electrical energy in the ground. ... 'Ancient Energies of the Earth' by David Cowan and Anne Silk 'Fire In ...

    PS: GS can now be followed on Twitter as @themastarata


  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Somersetshire
    Posts
    4,275
    Rep Power
    52
    I sent that video to my mum, said, 'look, this guy knows what the ancients knew.'

    Anybody watch it? Anyone see the related 'Keshe's Health Bottle?'
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xjO...&nohtml5=False

    I just found a connection:

    "I gazed at a jumble of various devices, lying, hanging and leaning about the room. There were radio tuners, bottles with copper wire wrapped around them, spools of copper wire and other various and sundry plastic and metal pieces that looked like they had fallen out of an old radio set."

    This guy:

    "There is only one man in the world who, by demonstration, has supported the claim, I know the secret of how the pyramids of Egypt were built! The man is now deceased.

    The claim was made by an eccentric Latvian recluse named Edward Leedskalnin. An immigrant to the United States of America, Leedskalnin devised a means to single-handedly lift and maneuver blocks of coral weighing up to 30 tons each. In Homestead, Florida, using his closely guarded secret, he was able to quarry and construct an entire complex of monolithic blocks of coral in an arrangement that reflected his own unique character. On average, the weight of a single block used in the Coral Castle was greater than those used to build the Great Pyramid. He labored for 28 years to complete the work, which consisted of a total of 1,100 tons of rock. What was Leedskalnin's secret? Is it possible for a five-foot tall, 110 pound man to accomplish such a feat without knowing techniques that are uncommon to our contemporary understanding of physics and mechanics?

    Leedskalnin was a student of the universe. Within his castle walls, built of coral blocks weighing approximately 15 tons each, he had a 22-ton obelisk, a 22-ton moon block, a 23-ton Jupiter block, a Saturn block, a 9-ton gate, a rocking chair that weighed 3-tons, and numerous puzzles. A huge 30-ton block, which he considered to be his major achievement, he crowned with a gable shaped rock. These personal accomplishments have astounded and surprised many engineers and technologists, who compare them with those achieved by workers handling similar weights in industry today.

    For his miracles of construction engineering, Leedskalnin received attention not only from engineers and technologists, but from the U.S. government, who paid him a visit hoping to be enlightened. Leedskalnin received them gracefully, and they left none the wiser. In 1952, falling ill and on his last legs, Leedskalnin checked himself into the hospital and slipped away from this life, taking his secret with him.

    If we assume that Leedskalnin and the ancient pyramid builders were using similar techniques, it puts a whole different light on the requirements in man hours necessary to construct the Great Pyramid." http://www.rense.com/general39/coral.htm

    PS: GS can now be followed on Twitter as @themastarata


  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    north yorkshire
    Posts
    16,022
    Rep Power
    125
    I'm knackered. I've just climbed 10 flights of stairs to get to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.
    One of the other members had taken the lift.

    I put an appeal on Facebook recently asking for ice-cream topping ideas.
    I've had hundreds and thousands so far.

    My wife had a right go at me for not being manly enough.
    "Oooh!" I thought, "Get her."

    Saw a sign on the bus the other day. It said "Take the kids out for 1".
    If you know of a cheaper hitman, let me know.

    for keith - Finger painting has become more popular than ever in nurseries and schools in Liverpool following local sponsorship.
    The local police have found it's best to get fingerprints on record from a early age.

    I ordered some pills for my premature ejaculation a month ago.
    Still haven't come.

    I have an impressive bank of knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I've lost the combination to this bank.


  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    north yorkshire
    Posts
    16,022
    Rep Power
    125
    Have YOU had to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more? You could be entitled to compensation. Call The Pro Claimers NOW!

    Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging free... It's women who make it hard.

    Some mornings I wake up bitchy... Other mornings I just let her sleep...

    I have an impressive bank of knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I've lost the combination to this bank.


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Silly Me
    By wb in forum PC Help/Advice - 100% FREE
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 21st January 2010, 17:08
  2. Another silly joke...
    By jonahjones in forum Humour Room
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 8th July 2007, 14:16
  3. Silly System
    By gogga in forum Your Horse Racing System Qualifiers
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10th September 2006, 13:01
  4. More Silly jokes....
    By jonahjones in forum Humour Room
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16th December 2005, 00:01

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Free Tips | Betting Advice | UK Horse Racing Tips | Free Bets | Staking Advice | Horse Racing Systems | Horse Racing Lays | Laying System | UK Horse Racing Tips | lay betting