Oh Bloody Knickers......

[Win2Win]

..... I just dropped my shaver and never realised I'd torn open the foil ..... now I have a face that looks like Freddy Krueger has been having a go at me

[barneymather]

Ouch, that sounds v. painful. The main thing is that you didn't give in to temptation and swear, other than a "Bloomin' 'eck, that was sore".

As my local vicar says whenever I bump into him in the pub or the bookies, people who utter oaths ought to stop it.

Keith and his razor: shortly before he booted it 60 feet in the air.

[Win2Win]

Well and truly hoofed it

£25 for a replacement head.... i can buy a new shaver for that

[barneymather]

Be careful when looking for new parts for shavers. I made the mistake of not speaking clearly when I visited a shop to purchase a similar item and ended up being frogmarched out of the place by Police Constable Phil McCracken and given a stern talking to. The attractive female assistant told him that I had asked her for head.

What might not have helped my case was my insistence on singing Billy Joel's Innocent Man in a loud voice as I was led past other shoppers. Mind you, I'd had 3 shandies that day so I was staggering all over the place.

[piggy]

save money grow a beard

[Win2Win]

Beard... yuck .... it'd be like having a hairy pussy on my face

[barneymather]

.... it'd be like having a hairy pussy on my face

And what is so very wrong with that?

I had just such a thing occur to me on Saturday morning, and although I was too sleepy to realise what was going on, it happened nonetheless.

Next door's cat is always climbing in the window when I'm having a lie in at the weekend.

[Win2Win]

Next door's cat is always pooping in my garden so on the nice sunny days I'll be in the garden with my air rifle waiting .... I did shovel some up last month a put it back in the owners garden .... one reason I HATE cats.

[barneymather]

Hmm, you're one of those gents who don't like pussies, eh. Ah well, each to their own and it takes all sorts. I don't think Mrs Slocombe would've approved though.

You can't beat stroking a nice hairy one, a pastime which I've always found to be very relaxing. I don't like to brag, but I think I've got a bit of a way with them, although I swear one tried to bite me once.